My sister in law delivered a healthy baby boy a few days back , and everyone is delighted to have another beautiful addition in the family. She had a a normal delivery, and was admittedly very brave during the whole time. But here’s the catch everyone has been going on and on about how brave and strong she is, and how I had never wanted a normal delivery and wasn’t strong enough.
My kids are now 5 and 3 and I had both cesarean deliveries as per the doctors advice because of some medical complications. When they were born whoever came to the hospital would ask ‘Normal kyun nahin kara ? ‘ ‘Aajkal ki ladkiyan normal karti hi nahin hai, inhe easy solution chahiye? ‘ I had to hear all this and many other remarks on how girls these days want to take the easy way out and how in the past our mothers were so strong and selfless. All this when Iam on a hospital bed writhing in pain, unable to lie down , sit or move. Anyone who has had a Csec will vouch for it, that after the surgery it doesn’t feel like you have taken the easy way out, you are in agony atleast the first few days. How does having a Csec make the whole process of delivering your baby any less wonderful or special, or less ‘normal’. Why is CSec abnormal if it is the need of the hour ?
Does the fact that I had a CSec delivery make me a selfish mother ? Should I have ignored doctors instructions and insisted on a normal delivery putting my baby at risk?
Why are people so judgemental ? Only if you undergo labor pains it is a sign of love for your baby ?
And then come the questions about feeding .. I could only feed my babies for 7-8 months each time due to various factors.Again came the barrage of comments ‘Girls these days just don’t feed the babies long enough ?’ ‘They don’t want to to be tied down with the baby that is why they give top feed’ .. ‘You don’t eat properly that’s why your feed is not enough.’ I have shed many tears hearing these comments but was unable to explain that to stop feeding my babies wasn’t my choice .
Please let new mothers experience their own unique journey of motherhood. They will gradually learn it all . They will make mistakes but instinctively all mothers know what is best for their baby . So please stop being so judgemental and opinionated on what is the right and wrong way, let them find their own special way.